A Rock Climber’s Lessons In Love
As you know from my previous post, I am a novice indoor rock climber who also happens to be a member of the San Francisco dating scene, and I’ve discovered that the lessons learned in the rock gym apply to the world of dating. I went to the Mission Cliffs gym yesterday and learned a lesson which I’m sad to say pretty much sums up my current dating status.
The San Francisco rock climber’s lesson for the day? Sometimes you just aren’t in a place where it’s going to happen.
I was tired before I even left for the gym. The cable car was running late, which meant that I ended up having to walk through The Mission in the rain, and I wasn’t feeling like climbing when I finally made it to the gym. But I got my gear on and decided to tackle the wall anyway. And the wall won. I just couldn’t get to the top of anything I tried, even the low level 5.5 climbs which I know I should be able to do. I’d hang there on the wall, frustrated that what I was trying to do wasn’t working but unable to see any other way to change it.
And sometimes dating is just the same way. I force myself to go out on dates found through Craigslist (San Francisco’s number one method for meeting new people), and I find halfway through dinner or drinks that I just can’t do it. I’m just too tired or too disinterested or too desirous-of-something-else to make dating work with any one person right now.
In the end yesterday, I did climb a route I’d done before that was familiar enough that I could force myself through it, and I at least felt proud of that. Then I went and got burritos at Pancho Villa taqueria and came home and called my ex – because like with the rock route, there was a familiarity that made the conversation easy.
I’m sure that my mood and my energy level (and this awful San Francisco weather) will shift soon and I’ll be scaling to the top of the indoor rock walls again in no time. And I’m sure that the funk of not wanting to put in the effort to meet new people will also pass and I’ll be happily chattering about exciting dates. But sometimes, it just doesn’t happen no matter what you try to do about it, and you just have to accept that and let the wall win a few.
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